goon smp

🌲 GOONS SMP — A Home for the Chronically Online
Where the sun rises over blocky hills, the hoppers run faster than your excuses, and someone is always one bad decision away from swimming in lava.
This isn't just a Minecraft server. This is a survival sanctuary, forged in Paper, guarded by GrimAC, and blessed by whatever deity watches over people who name their home /home robko_vole_.
⚔️ What awaits you:
- Java + Bedrock crossplay — phone peasants and PC chads, united at last
- Multi-version support — we accept your ancient launcher like a forgiving parent
- Proximity voice chat — hear the exact moment your friend realizes he's about to die
- Economy & player shops — get rich, or get rich scamming (we don't judge, the auction house does)
- Mythic bosses & pets — tame a companion, because the voices in your head weren't enough
- VeinMiner, Falling Trees, Faster Hoppers — because mining one ore at a time is for monks
- Custom enchants, kits, cosmetics & achievements — drip AND progression
- Chat games, polls, RTP & warps — never be bored, never be lost (only emotionally)
- Ride your friends on your head. Yes, literally. There's a plugin. We checked.
- Anti-cheat so strict even our dupers asked permission (StringDupersReturn was invited personally)
📜 The Rules of the Land:
1. No griefing. We will find you. We always find you.
2. No cheating. GrimAC sees all, judges all, bans all.
3. Respect the goons. The goons respect you back.
Survival. Community. Slightly unhinged.
500 player slots. Infinite copium. One shared hatred of creepers.
"I came for the survival. I stayed because my base is here and moving is expensive."
— actual player, probably